READ TIME: 6 MINUTES | 17 DECEMBER, 2025 | READ ON PHILHSC.COM​

I'm the first to admit I don't do holidays well.

I can trick myself into thinking my lifelong learner switch can't be turned to the off position.

That taking a break means I'm missing something. That if I'm not working, I'm not moving forward.

For years, I operated with one philosophy emblazoned in my mind: Volume equals effort, and effort drives reward.

More hours. More meetings. More decisions. More output.

If I only did more, the results would follow.

Over time, I've learned the first part of that equation is wrong. And I've learned how powerful recovery actually is, not as a luxury, but as a necessity.

But understanding it intellectually and actually doing it? Those are two very different things.

The vacation I'll never forget

We were on an island. Literal paradise.

White sand, clear water, the kind of place you see in travel magazines and think, "That's where I'll finally relax."

Our eldest daughter was 15 months old. This was supposed to be a dream vacation. A chance to be present, to disconnect, to just be with my family.

It was time I wouldn’t get back. I knew that.

But I wasn't there. Not really.

Half my attention was on work. Emails between breakfast and the beach. Calls during nap time. Mental loops about decisions that didn't need to be made for another three weeks.

I was physically present, but mentally I was back in the office. And my wife knew it. My daughter couldn't articulate it yet, but she felt it too.

I remember one afternoon, sitting on the beach watching my daughter play in the sand, and realising: I'm in paradise and I'm not here. I couldn't let go of work.

That's when it hit me.

I couldn't just switch off. I didn't have that muscle. I'd spent years building the capacity to stay on.

To be always available, always thinking, always moving but I'd never built the capacity to stop.

And without that capacity, every vacation was just work in a different location.

Here's what I've come to understand

This year has been the most eventful across nearly every dimension for all of us. The pace has been relentless. The decisions have been bigger. The uncertainty has been constant.

And if you're leading through that (holding the weight of your team's livelihoods, your investors' expectations, your family's security) you're carrying more than you probably acknowledge.

So let me say something that most leadership advice won't:

Recovery is indulgent. And you need it anyway.

Not because it makes you more productive (though it does). Not because it's strategic (though it is). But because you need perspective.

You need to recalibrate to what's really important to you. You need to remember why you're doing this in the first place.

And you cannot achieve that in a state of fatigue.

Fatigue doesn't just slow you down. It narrows your thinking. It makes everything feel urgent. It turns every decision into a grind. It replaces intentionality with reactivity.

The same is true as an athlete. The workout is the stimulus. The growth happens in recovery.

Rest isn't about indulgence versus discipline. It's about building the capacity to lead at the level your business and your life requires.

So today, I want to talk about how you can prepare for a great break.

Not just time off. An actual break. The kind where you come back clearer, calmer, and reconnected to what matters.

Because if you don't prepare for it, it won't happen.

You'll take the time off and still be half-occupied with work. Still checking email. Still mentally in the office. Even when you’re exhausted.

Here are the five ingredients I've learned that work.

1. Get to nature (30 minutes each day for 3 days before you go on vacation)

No headphones. No podcast. No calls.

Just you and whatever's around you. A park. A trail. The beach. It doesn't matter.

What matters is practicing being present without inputs.

You let your mind wander. You notice things. You slow down.

This isn't about fitness. It's about building the muscle to be without stimulation. To let your nervous system down-regulate before you even leave for the break.

If you can't do 30 minutes without input before vacation, you won't be able to do it during vacation either.

2. Take a book to breakfast

This is my favourite one.

Not your phone. Not the news. Not work emails disguised as "just checking in."

A book. Fiction, biography, something completely unrelated to your business.

Sit somewhere, a cafe, your kitchen table, a hotel restaurant and have the book on the table.

When your mind reaches for your phone, reach for the book.

It's indulgent. It's slow. It's entirely unnecessary for productivity.

And it's exactly what you need.

Because when you take a book to breakfast, you're saying: This is my time. I'm not optimising or solving. I'm just here.

That simple act rewires your relationship with time. It reminds you that not every moment needs to be productive.

3. State your number for next year

Pick the metric that matters. Revenue target. Customer growth. Team size. Whatever defines success for your business in 2026.

State it clearly. Write it down. Say it out loud.

Then leave 2026 for how you'll solve for it.

Not now. Not during your break. Not in the mental background while you're supposed to be resting.

You've named it. You've anchored it. Now let it go.

This gives your brain permission to stop problem-solving. You're not avoiding the goal. You're just not solving for it right now.

4. Name a person you want to meet in 2026

Not a networking target. Not a strategic connection.

A person you're genuinely curious about. Someone whose work you admire. Someone you'd love to have a conversation with.

Name them. Write it down.

This shifts your focus from what you need to accomplish to who you want to become.

It reminds you that growth isn't just about hitting targets, it's about expanding your thinking through connection.

5. Name the knowledge you want to acquire in 2026

What do you want to learn next year? Not because it's useful for your business (though it might be). But because it fascinates you.

A new language? A skill? A field of study you've been curious about?

Name it. Let yourself be excited about it.

This reminds you that learning isn't just a means to an end.

It's part of what makes you who you are.

And when you reconnect with that curiosity, you remember why you started building things in the first place.

What actually changes

When you prepare to wind down (actually build the muscle to stop) you don't just get a break. You get clarity.

You come back with perspective on what really matters.

You see problems you couldn't see before because you were too close to them.

You reconnect with the people and the purpose that make all of this worth doing.

And you realise that the volume-equals-effort equation wasn't just wrong about productivity. It was wrong about life.

Because the goal isn't to do more. It's to do what matters. And you can't see what matters when you're on all the time.

What came after that vacation

Years after that island vacation with my wife and daughter I did the work to understand what was driving that need to always be ‘on’.

I thought it was the chip I had on my shoulder from a first failed venture.

It turns out that it was the desire to contribute.

To provide a life for my young family.

To avoid repeating the fate of my parents’ relationship.

To prove to my wife that the bet she placed to partner with me for life was worth it.

This work reframed what I was missing.

That each day moments pass us by that we will never get back.

This work started a journey to building a muscle to enjoy breaks, vacations and life. It’s a work in progress and I still fight the urge to always be on but I do so with this paradox front of mind: Contribution and recovery coexist.

The bottom line

You've carried a lot this year. More than most people will ever know.

And yes, recovery is indulgent. It's time spent not working. Not producing. Not moving the business forward.

But it's also essential. Because you're not a machine. And the business you're building and the life you're creating requires a version of you that's clear, grounded, and connected to what really matters.

You can't get that without rest. And you can't rest without preparation.

Here are my two questions for you:

1. Which of these five ingredients are you going to try?
2. What book recommendation do you have for me?

Reply to let me know. I read each email.

Enjoy your break. You've earned it.

THE PARTNERSHIP PLAYBOOK PODCAST

We are only publishing one episode this week. Please listen and share it with leaders who think it could help.

EP 149 - 7 min:Holding space for grief. My thoughts on leading in light of the devastating events at Bondi Beach in Australia on 14 December 2025. Listen on ​Apple Podcasts | Spotify​

We’ll return to normal programming next week.

See you next Wednesday,

Phil Hayes-St Clair
Executive Coach

​Find me on LinkedIn​

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